Many people have a picture of unhealthy relationships that includes physical assault and black-and-blue eyes, but there are other factors that can also make a relationship unhealthy. Many times relationships that turn violent begin without violence, but warning signs may still exist. In the link provided below a former victim of domestic violence outlines some signs of a healthy relationship.
Jeanette Stingley (2009) lists respect as one of the most important elements of a healthy relationship. Domestic violence is often the result of an imbalance of power, making it essential for romantic partners to be treated as equals in the relationship. Another feature of a healthy relationship is that each partner in the relationship asks for the other’s opinion in matters that affect each other and values those opinions even if he or she disagrees with them.
In my relationship I have discovered that compromise is crucial. Compromise allows romantic partners to work together, to each have a voice that is heard, and to find solutions that benefit both parties. Another critical factor is support. You don’t always need to agree with the beliefs and actions of your partner, but you should support them.
If a relationship does not include equality, respect, and support, it may be a warning sign that the relationship is unhealthy and should be ended before serious problems, such as domestic abuse, arise.
Debating the prevalence or severity of husband abuse is irrelevant. Domestic violence should not be a gender issue: it is a human issue. – Karen Stephenson
What do you think of when you picture a victim of domestic violence? Chances are, you think of a woman; however, men can also be victims of domestic violence. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, men account for about 15% of the victims of reported domestic violence (2003). The term “husband abuse” has recently been applied to cases where a wife abuses her husband either physically or verbally. Although society has become more aware of husband abuse, there are still very few services offered to male victims of domestic violence. There are almost no shelters to house male victims and men are often required to pay for the services that do exist, while female victims receive the same services free of charge. Male victims are less likely to report being abused because of gender stereotypes. We live in a patriarchal society where men are expected to exhibit power over women. Being abused by a woman is often seen as a sign of weakness, increasing the probability of a male victim remaining silent. The following link contains an article about husband abuse: http://physical-abuse.suite101.com/article.cfm/male_victims_of_domestic_violence.
Women have fought hard for the right to equality. Our determination has led to numerous rights and services, but in the case of husband abuse it seems that men are the ones without rights. No form of abuse is ever okay, regardless of the victims gender, age, ethnicity, etc. As Karen Stephenson said, domestic violence is a human issue. As our equals men should be entitled to the same resources that women have access to. I understand the need for protection, but if men are not allowed in women’s safe haven shelters then similar shelters should exist for men as well.
For many people Christmas is a favorite time of year, but not everybody experiences all the holiday cheer. According to the video above, domestic violence reports double during the months surrounding the holidays. Many women spend their Christmas in a shelter for battered women to escape from an abusive partner.
The increase in domestic violence cases during November and December appears to be largely due to increases in levels of stress. Domestic violence often occurs as a result of stress, and Christmas is a stressful time of year for many people due to financial strain.
Being aware of domestic violence patterns allows advocates to form prevention programs to attack the problem. In Jackson, Mississippi attempts are being made to decrease domestic violence cases by counseling those involved in abusive relationships. Individuals are first counseled in their homes, and then in shelters if the home counseling was not effective. Services such as those offered in Jackson should be increased during times that high levels of domestic violence occur, such as the holidays, in order to protect and empower women.
Domestic violence is a serious problem that affects people of all backgrounds. Although physical violence is most commonly thought of, domestic violence may also be emotional or psychological. There are serious consequences associated with domestic violence, including both emotional and physical injury and death, and it is important to prevent those occurrences.
I have always been a strong proponet for education. If a problem exists it must first be recognized as a problem before steps can be taken to fix or improve the issue. Many of the steps below include speaking out against domestic violence in order to educate others and make them aware of the problem. The article below provides a step-by-step guide to preventing domestic violence.
How to Prevent Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a serious crime that thrives on the use of emotional, psychological and physical abuse to control and isolate the victim. It is enacted by both men and women across all socioeconomic classes, ethnicity, culture and race. Domestic violence is often fueled by stress, substance abuse and repeating the cycle of learned behavior. Children that witness domestic violence suffer and have the haunting memories to live with. Domestic violence can end in serious injury and death. Because of the seriousness of this crime, it is extremely important that we learn how to prevent domestic violence.
Step 1
Teach and educate about domestic violence. This can be most effective by educating young people to help them understand that violence is never an acceptable behavior.
Step 2
Promote domestic violence awareness. When people become aware of the statistics and effects domestic violence has on lives and communities, it keeps the issue alive and important.
Step 3
Speak out against domestic violence. Talking about the seriousness of domestic violence amongst friends, family and other community members also helps to keep the importance out there.
Step 4
Take a stand against entertainment, music and jokes that might trivialize domestic violence. Also, stand up against comments that blame the victim.
Step 5
Organize fundraisers to support the local efforts behind domestic violence prevention and awareness. The better funded the programs are, the more reach they can have.
Step 6
Encourage communities to establish centers for domestic violence. Those that are being domestically abused will go get help when they know that it is readily available.
Step 7
Support local laws and legislation aimed at supporting and protecting against domestic violence. When stricter laws and legislation are in play, abusers tend to think twice, while those that have been abused feel more secure with turning to law enforcement for help.
Step 8
Demand that local social service workers and law enforcement is properly trained in domestic violence. For many years, women who were domestically abused refrained from reporting it or seeking out help because they were often re-victimized by those same people that were supposed to help them.
Step 9
Volunteer with domestic violence organizations. Many of these programs that are aimed at assisting domestic abuse victims are poorly funded and can use all the help they can get. Plus, it can be a positive way to give back to the community while reaching out and touching the life of someone in need.
Step 10
Support the development of after care programs aimed at assisting the psychological needs of families and individuals that lived through domestic abuse.
Step 11
Report suspicions of domestic violence to the proper authorities. Domestic violence is still a very secret crime, and it often sits silently within any given home in any given neighborhood. Sometimes, it takes that one person to make that call and report the suspicion to help a person out of a situation they may not be able to get out of on their own.
Tips & Warnings
It is unfortunate that most of domestic violence prevention begins after the violence has started. However, it cannot be reiterated enough that teaching young children that violence is not a way to handle anger and emotions, will go a long way in preventing violent behavior when they become teens and adults.
Remember, the longer a person stays in a domestically violent relationship, the harder it becomes to get out. Also, when children are witness to the behavior it can pattern their future behaviors. Meaning, little girls that watch their mommy get abused often wind up being abused, while little boys identify with their daddy and grow up to emulate the way their daddy treated their mommy.
Here’s a YouTube video of a domestic violence aid ad. (Warning: The video is of a staged event but does include violence.)
The commercial above was funded by the charity Women’s Aid, which is located in the UK. The video uses emotional appeals to gain support for victims of domestic violence in the UK. According to the video, two women die from domestic violence in the UK on an average week.
The Women’s Aid website also claims that the Police in the UK receive a call for domestic violence assistance every minute, which means the police receive approximately 1,300 calls for domestic violence assistance each day and over 570,000 calls each year (Stanko, 2000). These numbers may not reflect the total number of domestic violence cases. According to the government National Delivery Plan, less than 24% of domestic violence crime is reported to the police (Walby & Allen, 2004).
The video is hard to watch, but domestic violence is real and it is a global issue. The commercial calls for society to recognize domestic violence as a problem and to fight against it.
Stanko, E. (2000). “The Day to Count: A Snapshot of the Impact of Domestic Violence in the UK” Criminal Justice 1:2.
Walby, S., & Allen, J. (2004). Domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking: Findings from the British Crime Survey. Home Office Research Study 276. (London: Home Office)
Part of the mission of safe haven shelters is to provide women and their children with advocacy, safety, and a space to heal, but are laws designed to help children doing more harm than good? On July 18, 2008 Nebraska instituted a safe haven law that decriminalized abandoning children at a state hospital. Although the law was meant to protect unwanted newborns, it failed to define an age limit and has resulted in the abandonment of more than 30 children, none of whom were infants (Ball, 2008). Nebraska is actually the last of the 50 states to pass a safe haven law; however, it is the first to impose such a law without age restrictions.
A controversial example of child abandonment in Nebraska is included in the article below. A father decided to abandon his nine children, ages 1 to 17, after suffering from the loss of his wife. The family of the man has argued that, if the safe haven law did not exist, the father may have turned to his family members instead (Inbar, 2008). Many have argued that the Nebraska law is too broad, while others claim that it is important to provide for all minor children and not just infants.
Becoming a parent is not a decision that should be made lightly. Having a child is a lifetime commit to caring for that child. A child is a human being, not a pet that can be returned to the pound if it begins to behave poorly or you become tired of providing care for it. While I strongly support laws that include provisions for the safety of children, I also think it is extremely important for parents to consider the huge responsibilities involved in parenting and to consider alternatives before abandoning their children.
Inbar, M. (2008). Should dad have been allowed to leave nine kids. Retrieved from http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26988869/
Does Safe Haven Law Help or Hurt?
In late September, Nebraskan Gary Staton decided he’d had enough. Rather than ask relatives for help, he drove his nine underaged children to a hospital and left them there. Staton could do this without legal repercussions because Nebraska has a law allowing parents of minor children to abandon those children in safe places such as a hospital or fire station with no questions asked.
Staton’s life began to fall apart when his wife died from a brain aneurysm soon after giving birth to the couple’s 10th child. According to MSNBC and other news outlets, he was unemployed and struggled with bills.
His eldest daughter, 18-year-old Amoria Micek told WOWT-TV in Omaha that “he felt like he couldn’t provide for them and rather than having the kids homeless or without utilities, he decided he would take up on the safe haven act.” Amoria, who was not abandoned, said she speaks with her father daily.
The Staton children joined six teenagers who were also abandoned in Nebraska last month under the state’s safe haven law, reports the New York Times.
All 50 states — though not the District of Columbia — have safe haven laws that are designed to save babies from being left to die in dumpsters or elsewhere. The first safe haven law was enacted in Texas in 1999. The National Safe Haven Alliance reports uncertainty about the exact number of children abandoned under the laws, but estimates the number at more than 2,000, according to the New York Times. In 2003, a report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, cautioned that safe haven laws were causing more problems by encouraging women to conceal pregnancies and abandon babies rather than receive counseling and by undermining child welfare practices.
Most people would agree that domestic violence is a serious problem that needs to be attended to, but it appears as if Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t feel that it is a big enough problem to be made a priority. In July of 2009 California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger cut 40% of the funding for domestic violence programs, resulting in a loss of $16 million for the programs. Schwarzenegger said the cuts were ”necessary” and his aides said they were “proper” (Rothfeld & Goldmacher, 2009).
This budget cut had devastating effects on the 94 shelters located in California. Many shelters were forced to eliminate services, lay off staff, or even close. Margaret Diaz, the executive director of A Better Way Victor Valley domestic violence program in Victorville, CA predicts that the budget cut will set the program back by 15 years. Without funding to continue domestic violence programs it is likely that the problem will continue to exist and that victims of domestic violence may be unable to attain the help that they need.
This budget cut resulted in a tremendous amount of controversy, and in October of 2009 Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger reversed the budget cut by signing an emergency bill to restore the funding (Theriault, 2009).
Domestic violence programs devastated by budget cuts: Governor uses veto power to slash social services
By Natasha Lindstrom Daily Press, Victorville, Calif.
Publication: Daily Press – Victorville (California)
Date: Thursday, July 30 2009
Jul. 30–VICTORVILLE
–The Victor Valley’s only domestic violence shelters and state-funded substance abuse program are looking to lay off workers and drastically scale back services after Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger used his veto power to raid up to 40 percent of their budgets.
“He wiped us out,” said Margaret Diaz, executive director of A Better Way Victor Valley domestic violence program in Victorville. “Now instead of giving women a helping hand, it’s going to be a handout when they come into our shelter. Now, we’re going to be a Band-Aid on a large cut.”
When the Legislature’s deal to close a roughly $24 billion budget gap landed on his desk, Schwarzenegger made an additional $489 million in line-item cuts primarily from social services, including $16 million from domestic violence programs.
For Diaz and Darryl Evey, executive director of the 25-year-old High Desert Domestic Violence Program, the governor’s move eliminated about 40 percent of their budgets.
“The governor has decided we don’t need domestic violence shelters in the state of California,” said Evey, whose Victorville shelter is losing $207,000 on top of a $43,000 state cut last year.
Both directors said the cuts will revert their programs back to a bareboned service, providing emergency housing and helping with restraining orders but nothing left to counsel the women and keep them from going back to abusive relationships.
Diaz said she may have to lay off staff and eliminate all support services for abused women, including funds for job searches, community outreach efforts, parenting classes, educational services and more.
“Forty percent of our budget is going to set us back 15 years,” Diaz said.
Evey said in addition to cutting support services, his shelter will have to ax transportation for its clients, including transporting children to school.
Evey already gave up his salary and laid off half his staff in anticipation of budget cuts — but he didn’t expect to lose his state funds altogether. One of his staff members has volunteered to move into the shelter temporarily to save the costs of staffing it 24 hours per day.
St. John of God Health Care Services, which serves the needy and recovering drug addicts in Victorville, may also lay off workers after losing about 20 percent of its budget because of state cuts, said Debbie Proper, interim administrator.
Proper estimates the center will lose about $100,000 from its drug and alcohol program and another $50,000 state grant that helped fill a food pantry and offer emergency-assistance services.
Diaz said the state cuts will prove devastating to the 94 organizations that rely on the funding to help end the vicious cycle of domestic violence, at a time when private donations are down dramatically and they’re seeing more victims than ever. She’s already heard some shelters may be shutting their doors for good.
“It’s putting women and children at risk. … I’m just devastated,” Diaz said. “But we’re going to continue to keep our shelter open and we will continue to do the best we can because that’s what we’re here for.”
Domestic violence affects people from all walks of life, including celebrities. In an interview with Diane Sawyer singer Rihanna warned that, “This happened to me… it can happen to anyone (Sher, L, & Marikar, S., 2009).” In February Rihanna was assaulted by her boyfriend, Chris Brown. Due to the celebrity status of both individuals the incident was widely publicized. Although Rihanna initially chose to stay in the relationship, the couple has now split. Despite the pain that Rihanna has faced she has chosen to speak out against domestic violence, including writing songs about domestic violence, in hopes that others can learn from her experiences and avoid similar situations. An article about the latest interview with Rihanna regarding the domestic violence event is provided below.
It is also interesting to note Chris Brown’s reaction to the incident. When asked about the event several months ago, Brown commented that he was “not a monster.” As stated in the article, besides being sentenced to probation he is required to partake in six months of community service and a year of domestic violence counseling. Hopefully those interventions will help Brown to see the montrosity behind his actions.
Rihanna Breaks Her Silence on ‘Humiliating’ Chris Brown Saga
By LAUREN SHER and SHEILA MARIKAR
Nov. 4, 2009
After months of silence, pop sensation Rihanna is talking publicly about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, and the Feb. 2009 events that led to his arrest and fall from grace.
“The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became for each other,” she told ABC News’ Diane Sawyer in an exclusive interview set to air on “Good Morning America” at 7am E.T. Thursday, Nov. 5. Their full interview will air on “20/20″ at 10p E.T. Friday, Nov. 6.
In August, Brown was sentenced to five years of probation, six months of community labor, and one year of domestic-violence counseling for assaulting the 21-year-old pop singer the night before the Grammy Awards.
“This happened to me … it can happen to anyone,” Rihanna told Sawyer in the “20/20″ interview, which will also be seen on “GMA.”
Rihanna told Sawyer that Brown was “definitely my first big love” before the dramatic incident, which resulted in the tabloids tearing apart the couple’s seemingly fairytale relationship.
The pop star also spoke out to Glamour magazine about her trying year.
“I felt like I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears. That was the level of media chaos that happened the next day,” she said in an interview featured in the magazine’s December issue. “It was like, What, there are helicopters circling my house? There are 100 people in my cul-de-sac? What do you mean, I can’t go back home?”
Rihanna told the magazine that having a photo of her after Brown’s attack, in which her face appears battered and swollen, get leaked to the press was “humiliating.”
“It was humiliating,” she said. “That is not a photo you would show to anybody. I felt completely taken advantage of. I felt like people were making it into a fun topic on the Internet, and it’s my life.”
The pop star told Glamour that she reached out to her family and to God in the months following Brown’s assault and their subsequent breakup, though she often felt alone.
“My friends and family have been extremely supportive, and everyone has been there for me. But at some point you are there alone. It’s a lonely place to be — no one can understand,” she said. “That’s when you get close to God.”
After a nine month hiatus, the star — known for her fierce fashion sense and infectious hits like “Umbrella” — is back with a new single, “Russian Roulette,” from her highly-anticipated album “Rated R” to be released later this month.
Now, speaking out about domestic violence, she told Glamour that she is “stronger, wiser and more aware,” and warns young girls not to repeat her mistakes.
“The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that,” she said. “I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn’t heard. Now I can help speak for those women.”
Portions of ABC News’ exclusive interview with Rihanna will air on “Good Morning America” at 7am E.T. Thursday, Nov. 5. Her full interview will air on “20/20″ at 10p E.T. Friday, Nov. 6.
Sher, L., & Marikar, S. (2009). Rihanna breaks her silence on ‘humiliating’ Chris Brown saga. Retrieved from http://www.abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/rihanna-humiliating-chris-brown-saga/story?id=8988734
Many studies show a high rate of alcohol abuse among men who batter their female partners. Yet, is there really a link between alcohol abuse and domestic violence? No evidence supports a cause-and-effect relationship between the two problems. The relatively high incidence of alcohol abuse among men who batter must be viewed as the overlap of two widespread social problems.
Efforts to link alcohol abuse and domestic violence reflect society’s tendency to view battering as an individual deviant behavior. Moreover, there is a reluctance to believe that domestic violence is a pervasive social problem that happens among all kinds of American families. For these reasons, it is essential to emphasize what is known about the relationship between alcohol abuse and domestic violence.
Battering is a socially learned behavior, and is not the result of substance abuse or mental illness. Men who batter frequently use alcohol abuse as an excuse for violence. They attempt to rid themselves of responsibility for the problem by blaming it on the effects of alcohol.
Many men who batter do not drink heavily and many alcoholics do not beat their wives. Some abusers with alcohol problems batter when drunk, and others when they are sober. For example, Walker’s (1984) study of 400 battered women found that 67% of batterers frequently abused alcohol; however, only one fifth had abused alcohol during all four battering incidents on which data were collected. The study also revealed a high rate of alcohol abuse among nonbatterers.
In one batterers program, 80% of the men had abused alcohol at the time of the latest battering incident. The vast majority of men, however, also reportedly battered their partners when not under the influence of alcohol.
Data on the concurrence of domestic violence and alcohol abuse vary widely, from as low as 25% to as high as 80% of cases.
Alcoholism and battering do share some similar characteristics, including:
Both may be passed from generation to generation
Both involve denial or minimization of the problem
Both involve isolation of the family
A battering incident that is coupled with alcohol abuse may be more severe and result in greater injury.
Alcoholism treatment does not “cure” battering behavior”; both problems must be addressed separately. However, provisions for the woman’s safety must take precedence.
A small percent (7% to 14%) of battered women have alcohol abuse problems, which in no more than that found in the general female population. A woman’s substance abuse problems do not relate to the cause of her abuse, although some women may turn to alcohol and other drugs in response to the abuse. To become independent and live free from violence, women should receive assistance for substance abuse problems in addition to other supportive services.
Men living with women have alcohol abuse problems often try to justify their violence as a way to control them when they’re drunk. A woman’s failure to remain substance free is never an excuse for the abuser’s violence.
Strengthen Our Sisters. (2009). Alcohol abuse and domestic violence. Retrieved from http://www.strengthenoursisters.org/alcohol_domestic_violence.html
ANALYSIS
I have always heard that alcohol is a main contributing factor of domestic violence. We hear the statistics over and over, but how big of a role does alcohol really play? While volunteering at the Safe Haven Shelter earlier today, an advocate told me that over 50% of domestic violence cases involve alcohol (B. Beagan, personal communication, October 7, 2009). According to the article above, alcohol may not be a cause of domestic violence.
The article begins by claiming that there is no evidence to support a cause-and-effect relationship between alcohol and domestic violence. It is always important to avoid using a correlational relationship as evidence of causation. Perpetrators of domestic violence may have consumed alcohol prior to the conflict, but this does not mean that the alcohol consumption caused the domestic violence.
The article also implies that society tends to place the blame on the individual rather than society as a whole. Societal influences play a large role in domestic violence. We are raised in a country where men are believed to possess dominance over women. Each person in a relationship has an idea of how that relationship should work based on their upbringing. If the man has been socialized to be powerful and strong and the woman believes there should be equality in the relationship, conflict may arise when the woman resists the man’s attempts to exert power over her (B. Beagan, personal communication, October 7, 2009).
The article argues that domestic violence is a socially learned behavior, not the result of substance abuse or mental illness. Domestic violence may not be the direct result of substance abuse or mental illness, but both could potentially escalate the situation.
As stated in the article, there are many men who commit violent acts and do not abuse alcohol and there are many men who do abuse alcohol but do not commit violent acts. Of the men who do commit violent acts and abuse alcohol, it does not appear that every violent act occurred after alcohol consumption.
Another issue involves the statistics regarding alcohol abuse and domestic violence. According to the article, reported numbers of domestic violence cases that involve alcohol abuse range from 25-80%. When a statistic is given it is important that information about the research study is provided. If the research methods are flawed, the statistics can be very misleading.
One of the most serious threats that women may face is domestic violence. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2009) defines domestic violence as a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person with whom an intimate relationship is or has been shared through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Domestic violence occurs when one person believes that they have the right to control another person. Nobody should have to experience domestic violence, but when it does occur there are programs to help. The Family Justice Center and Safe Haven Shelter work to provide a safe location for victims of domestic violence and their families. Their vision includes putting an end to violence, helping families heal, and holding perpetrators of domestic violence accountable (Family Justice Center Alliance, 2009).
Domestic violence is real. In the United States, an estimated 1.3 million women are victims of domestic violence each year (NCAD, 2009). One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime (NCAD, 2009) and three out of four Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence (DVRC, 2009).
Programs such as the Family Justice Center and Safe Haven Shelter work to protect victims of domestic violence. These programs play a vital role in decreasing re-assault. Studies have shown that access to services provided by shelters leads to a 60-70% reduction in incidence and severity of re-assault during the 3-12 months follow up period compared to women who did not utilize shelter services (DVCR, 2009). Studies also showed that services provided by shelters led to greater reduction in severe re-assault than did seeking court or law enforcement protection or moving to a new location (DVCR, 2009).
Domestic violence affects people across all walks of life: There is no typical victim. It can happen to individuals of any gender, age, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status (B. Beagan, personal communication, October 7, 2009). Domestic violence is a violation of human rights and action must be taken.
Domestic violence also causes unnecessary health care burdens. The World Health Organization (2009) reports that women who have suffered violence are more likely to need health services and at higher cost compared to women who have not suffered violence.
Based on my experiences with the Family Justice Center and Safe Haven Shelter so far, it appears that the programs are in the social problems work stage of the social problem process. During my meeting with workers at the Safe Haven Shelter it was very clear that they have recognized that domestic violence is a problem and are working to confront issues surrounding domestic violence. When domestic violence does occur, the Safe Haven Shelter offers a safe location for women and their children to stay and the Family Justice Center provides legal, medical, and financial assistance. The Family Justice Center and Safe Haven Shelter also work to promote community awareness in order to prevent domestic violence (Family Justice Center Alliance, 2009).
In order to move my project forward, I will need to become more familiar with the Family Justice Center and its programs. I have spent time at the Safe Haven Shelter and learned about the services they offer and some of the factors contributing to domestic violence, but have not yet had the opportunity to visit the Family Justice Center. I have found research regarding the prevalence of domestic violence and some of the statistics that have been found but need to further examine the current legal policies regarding domestic violence.
